Mistreated Veterans... Inexcusable

I am a veteran. I did not go overseas or into combat as most commonly thought of, but I served my country to the best of my ability during my time in the Army.

On a regular basis, I go to the small VA clinic that is closest to me. Being a small clinic, it is far easier for me to go in there than the VA Medical Center over 50 miles away.

The VA clinic is attached to the Veteran's Home, and sometimes, while waiting for my own appointment, I see residents from the Veteran's Home who are there for their own appointments. They are sometimes escorted by an aide who works at the home.

Today was one of those days... and what I witnessed hurt my heart.

I witnessed an elderly gentleman being talked to in a way that made him slump in his seat. The aide who had escorted him knew he was hard of hearing when she asked him something or told him something. Yet... when he told her he couldn't hear what she was saying, she replied with, "Well, I'm not going to yell." I was sitting in a chair 2 rows behind them, and I could hear her clearly... but only just. She rudely interrupted a conversation he had struck up with another gentleman sitting nearby. She repeatedly called him ornery, ornery, ornery. He just got smaller in his seat.

At first, I thought that perhaps this was just their rapport... that he knew she wasn't being serious or demeaning. But his body language changed so quickly that I had to rule that out.

She treated him in a disrespectful, demeaning manner... and one could tell that it hurt him... and it hurt my heart and made me so angry.

What I wanted to do then would have been very inappropriate... and the focus would have been on my reaction, rather than on her behavior. But I had to do something.

It was upsetting enough to witness any elderly person being treated that way... it made it that much worse knowing that this man was a veteran... and he lived in the attached Veteran's Home... which meant his choices for care, where he could even see a doctor, were probably limited. He is most likely stuck with what he gets there... which should be better than what he was getting.

I knew I had to cool down a little bit. He had gone into his appointment, so I waited and went to my own. On my way out, I asked the woman at the desk if she was familiar with this gentleman from earlier... and explained why I was asking. Was he someone that was typically difficult to deal with? Was I wrong to feel like the aide who had been with him needed a slap... or something? Her response made me stop questioning myself... I hadn't been mistaken in my impression.

Years ago, I spent about 4 years helping my mother care for my grandmother, who had Alzheimer's. I am not unfamiliar with the difficult moods that people can sometimes get in... and I am not unfamiliar with how it feels to be at the end of a long day. However... that is no excuse for treating someone as though they are less than... it is no reason to treat them with blatant disrespect. There is no excuse for that.

I drove out of the parking lot... only to turn around and walk into the Veteran's Home to find someone to talk to about what I'd seen. I had to do it without thinking too much about it... or I would not be able to. I was shaking the entire time... but I spoke with the social worker, then with the administrator and the aide herself.

I talked through the tears... and the experience reaffirmed what I already knew. Some of the people who work in these places really do care about what they do and the people they impact. Some people... not so much. I felt as though the social worker heard me... and even the aide... but the administrator seemed to try to excuse the way he'd been treated by saying something about how he'd recently been having some behavioral issues. WHAT?! He was certainly not exhibiting any of those when I saw him... and even if he had, one can be firm AND be kind.... there is NO EXCUSE... not EVER... for treating any human being as though they are 'less than'.

These aides, and everyone else fortunate enough to work in a place like that... though it might be difficult work sometimes, though they might not like their job, though they might not even like the people they are there to help... when they take that job, they take on a responsibility. Anyone who is responsible in any way for the care and well being of another person should do the very best they can to, at minimum, treat that person with respect.

If they cannot do that, they should find another job.

How's that for some un-common sense?


Thanks for reading.